Today's Trouble

I have been dying to try these delicious-looking homemade cinnamon rolls. The hubby and I are digging in our heels and really trying to stick to the grocery budget this month. With $47 left for the next 12 days, I thought making these would be a nice, ingredient-on-hand treat for our Saturday morning. I warmed up the cup of milk and threw in the yeast. When I reached into the fridge and saw that I didn't have enough eggs, blood flushed to my cheeks, and I started to feel sick. Why, you ask? Wouldn't it be easy to run to the grocery and pick up a $.99 carton of eggs? It would be, but I chose not to. Among the various reasons was the fact that free-range eggs are more like $3.50, but I also have this sick addiction to beating myself up. I calmly stirred the yeast into the milk, knowing I was about to pour 1 cup of paid-for milk down the drain. The lies in my mind began: Idiot! Why didn't you check the ingredients better? You should have prepped these last night anyway. If only we (or THE HUSBAND) made more money, I would just toss this and try again another time - without a care in the world! How are we going to make it on a ridiculous $47!?

I poured the milk into the sink and left my husband and son playing in the livingroom. I quietly, like the good martyr I am, took a shower and got dressed. While I was in the shower, I was reminded of the lilies of the field and the birds of the air. I prayed that God would remind me of his promise to care for us, and that I, for once, would actually trust him. Once I had a chance to read these verses again, I saw a connection I never noticed before. In verse 25, Jesus tells us

Isn’t there more to life than food and more to the body than clothing? (NETBible)

Like a good Christian, I thought, Of course, we should want to glorify God in all we do, but Jesus spells it out for us plainly. The "more to life" is in verse 33:

(32) your heavenly Father knows that you need them. (33) But above all pursue his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (NETBible)

Newsflash to Stephanie: God knows what you need! And He WILL provide them for you! Not only that, though. Here's the biggie: If I am spending my time worrying about even the basics of my life, I am missing out on the pursuit of his kingdom and his righteousness - which is what I REALLY need.

For the unconverted pursue these things (NETBible, verse 32)

My Provider, as I sit here making this temporal grocery list and clipping little coupons, You know exactly what I need and how you will provide it. Help me to not get caught up worrying about these insignificant things, or, again, feeling sorry for myself. Instead, show me what it means to really pursue your kingdom and your righteousness. Lead me by Your Spirit.