I Like My Wrinkles

I am not ashamed to admit that in a few short months I will be turning 30. Now, some of you are thinking 30!? You're young - just wait until you're 50!

What is it with age and our culture? When did getting older become a bad thing? Why are we as women in particular so obsessed with not just our age but looking young?

It started with some "gentle" exfoliants to slough off dead skin cells and "harmless" night creams that plump up the skin. Then it went to plastic surgery, and of course we cried out - No! Plastic surgery is bad! So instead we developed methods where we inject ourselves with plumping chemicals and scrape our skin off with sandpaper to reveal the "young" skin underneath. And I go right along with it.

You know, I've never really worried about getting older - or at least, that's what I tell myself. But then, in conversation with other women, I find myself purposefully making comments about age, like, Well, I'm a lot older than you, so I need to hurry up and have more kids. Of course, older is drawn out so that it's almost three syllables. Or there's the derisive What are you, 23? I used to roll my eyes and disdain these comments! When did I fall into the trap that says God didn't mean for us to age!?

Although I've been wrinkling since I was in my early 20s, I felt so awesome I didn't care. And my family has these baby faces that never look "old" (seriously, my mom still gets carded). Giving birth must have an effect on facial skin, though, because I aged rapidly in the few months after having Samuel. Or maybe it was the 4 hours of sleep I got every day. Either way, I looked in the mirror as a new mom and thought, "Woah. Wrinkles. Discoloring. The Works." And just the other day, I looked in the mirror and noticed my eyelids are starting to droop over my eyes. And it got me thinking, This should not bother me. But it does bother me on some level - and it's absolutely...

• Not important
• Not Godly
• Not Biblical!!

I have to say, I really love King Lemuel's mama. She says a wife "of noble character" is more valuable than precious rubies. This wife is a hard and shrewd worker, she's up all night (got that one down), she's strong but compassionate, she's well dressed (better work on this) - but her clothes are "strength and honor" (yeah, still need to work on that). And mama concludes with:

Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the LORD will be praised. (NETBible, Proverbs 31:30)

Even worse, focusing on looking young (or thin or pretty or tall) takes away from our true devotion - worshiping God. As a Christ-following woman, I need to be an example to my culture. When other women are talking about being old, instead of joining in, what about reminding them that God created us to age on purpose? Or that their husbands still think they're the most beautiful woman on the planet? Now this is particularly for Christian women who have Jesus at the center of their worldview. For women who don't yet follow Christ, can I be an example? Can I share with my neighbor the struggle I've gone through with this? And that God created her exactly how He wants her? I hope so.

Share in the comments how feeling the need to look a certain way has impacted your spirituality.

Amazing God, You are the creator of beauty. You created me exactly how you want me, and you intended me to age and for my body to change. Help me to reject the lie that says I'm not beautiful in Your eyes - and that I need to constantly be doing something to improve my external appearance. Instead, God, will I open up my soul to you? Will I allow You to scrub off the dead to reveal the newness that You bring? Direct me in this way.

Desire Part 3: God Wants Glory

I know what God wants, and it is glory. Does that sound strange to you? Does it sound selfish? I mean, isn't God here to serve me? No. NO. NO!

In fact, He is not here for a reason. HE just IS. But we - we are here for a reason and a purpose.

• Reason: God created us because He wanted to.

This alone absolutely floors me. The One True, can't-even-look-at-His-fabulousness God created me because He wanted to! He created you because He wanted to! Wow.

So Why???

• Purpose: To worship Him.

• for all things in heaven and on earth were created by him – all things, whether visible or invisible, whether thrones or dominions, whether principalities or powers – all things were created through him and for him. (NETBible, Colossians 1:16)
• Let them praise the name of the Lord, for he gave the command and they came into existence. (NETBible, Psalm 148:5)
• everyone who belongs to me, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed – yes, whom I made! (NETBible, Isaiah 43:7) 
• But truly, as I live, all the earth will be filled with the glory of the Lord. (NETBible, Numbers 14:21)

We are here not merely to be happy. But to fall on our knees as we must before Him and to revel in who He is.

I love how John Piper says it, "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him."

I don't know about you, but I'm tired of being dissatisfied with the things of this earth. I'm tired of being dissatisfied with religion. I'm tired of being dissatisfied with my idols of comfort and family-worship. I'm going to the throne to find The One who truly satisfies.

Here I am, Lord, dragging myself to You again, empty and exhausted from valuing everything but You. I am humbled to see that You want me! You are my Creator-Father. And You alone are worthy of glory.

Desire Part 2: What Satan Wants

Last time, I wrote about having true joy over earthly pleasures. But my flesh doesn't just desire pleasure - it also desires evil. The flesh in me wishes ill on others. The flesh in me wants things that are not good for me. The flesh in me hopes for the pieces to fall in place so that I can cheat my way out of something. Didn't we already talk about how my flesh wants and wants and wants?

And there is an enemy who loves my flesh and its incessant desires. This enemy is real. His name is Satan.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8, NIV)

Do you remember Cain? He brought his offering to the Lord, and for whatever reason, it was not pleasing to Him. If you were Cain, how would you have reacted when God called you to the carpet? I would have been embarrassed, upset, and trying to cover for the reason my offering wasn't acceptable. Cain? He got angry:

Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it." (Genesis 4:6-7, NIV)

My fleshly desires, if allowed, open a tiny crack for that prowler to stick a toe in. "It desires to have you..." This is what Satan wants. He wants me to slip - to open the door a crack - to let sin takeover for a split second so he can fling the door wide open and clinch me.

Don't miss our good God's subtle mention of grace. He says, "If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?" But he doesn't say "If you do not do what is right, you will not be accepted." - No! He says you are in danger. While I let sin creep in and watch my life disintegrate into a fleshly toilet, God is waiting - waiting to take us back into his arms, to lift our downcast face, and restore us.

Come back Tuesday for the last part of the Desire series, and we'll find out what exactly our God wants.

Oh Lord, save me from myself. You have already redeemed me, and that means the enemy can't snatch me out of Your hand. But he does want to destroy my witness to the world for you. Protect me from the lie that says a little sin won't hurt.

Desire Part 1: This Is My Desire

What is your deepest desire? This is a question that was posed to me through Beth Moore's book Jesus: 90 Days With the One and Only. Yeah, I'm reading Beth Moore - don't hate! I'm getting a lot out of this book. Sidenote: The 90 Days has pathetically turned into about 9 months - and it's not over! Sidenote 2: she makes me want to call you "beloved" in my blog. I refrain when the desire hits. :)

Back to the question about my deepest desire. I really had to think about this, but I knew I needed to explore two paths:

1. What does the "Christian" in me think?
2. What does my flesh think?

My pat answer is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. And I know deep down that I truly desire that. But I also know there is a lot of flesh in this hunk of human - and what does she want? I wrote down the first thing that came to my flesh-mind: Happiness. This answer, if I were to hear it from someone else, would make me gag. It's so trite, and "isn't it what we all want?" ::Bat eyelashes::

Um...yes, it is what we all want. But I think it takes a different form than what our flesh thinks. My flesh wants a big, professionally-decorated, windows-covering-the-walls, comfy, built-in-espresso-machine-in-the-kitchen house. My flesh wants a free schedule and endless sleep. My flesh wants - and it never stops wanting.

My heart, however - the soul-thing that is connected to the Holy Spirit - wants joy. Joy fulfills. Joy is not dependent on temporary things. Joy overflows from a life that has been redeemed!

Those delivered from bondage will travel on it,

those whom the Lord has ransomed will return that way.

They will enter Zion with a happy shout.

Unending joy will crown them,

happiness and joy will overwhelm them;

grief and suffering will disappear. (NETBible, Isaiah 35:9b-10)

My joy cannot be rooted in things of the here and now - even great things, like my husband, my son, our jobs, our ministries. The joy I want can only be found in our Savior. In pursuing His kingdom and His righteousness. And I'm even more amazed that I won't even know the extent of joy possible until we enter His heaven and are drawn right to our knees.

So, beloved :) - what does your flesh want? How do you remind yourself to find the True Joy?

Stay tuned for part 2 of the Desire series - the desire of our enemy.

Heavenly Father, your truth is always better than my flesh. Thank you for giving me joy that is rooted in You. You know best that I often do not experience this joy because I'm focusing on earthly desires. Align my will to Yours. Let Your true joy overflow in my life.